Body Count

Saffy Huntley-Oliver's life is going great. Even better than usual! She's got a fabulous new boyfriend, Jonathan, and they are crazy in love; she has literally got away with (lots of) murder; her favourite hairstylist has got out of jail so she can finally get a proper blow-out; and now that she's no longer single, she can get back to her favourite hobby of killing all the bad men she can find.

Well. There are one or two teensy snags. For one, her beloved sister Susie is still dating that manbunned toerag Finlay and it is so hard not to murder him.

For another, Jonathan's dog, Girl, sheds a lot, and so Saffy can no longer wear anything velvet or black. Jonathan himself seems to have lost his taste for murder, and is ignoring all the tempting corpses that Saffy keeps putting in his way, which is a crying shame because he looks so sexy covered in blood. All of this would be easy to ignore in the flush of new love; except that those idiot police keep on sniffing around, looking for whoever killed that kinky sex pest Tory.

And Susie keeps on forwarding inspirational Instagram memes that relate eerily to Saffy's latest murders. And someone has cut the brakes on her car, and stolen her favourite knife, and even-so rude-killed one of her marks before she could reach him. The police are never going to find her...but has someone else?